Open & Honest - Thank you, Facebook

This is a post for all those new moms and former new moms out there. Thank you for understanding, sisters!

Yesterday I was playing with my profile at www.LoseIt.com.  I've used the app before to track weight loss and exercise.  As part of my new year's resolution, I have been revisiting the app and needed to update my current weight.  Since my last weigh in, I was pregnant and had a baby. Plus, I work full time, own my business, am a wife, a volunteer youth worker, am constantly near exhaustion, somewhat stressed, and still love food.  And for the record, I weighed myself in the middle of the day, after eating, and on the highest water retention day of the month.

So I entered my biggest number to date in a quest for honesty.

Oh, and I forgot to turn off the automatic sharing feature.  Thus, this little jewel appeared on facebook:

I wasn't even aware that it had posted until I got a like and a comment from a sweet friend.  I probably would be hiding in bed and crying from embarrassment if he hadn't said such kind words.  

So, what's a new mom to do?

I decided that I would face the facts.

I think the biggest change for me post baby is the body image.  There is not enough out there to prep us for what happens to our bodies post baby.  I went to the hospital with a giant (but I thought cute) belly.  My abs had never been as awesome as they were at that time.  My stomach was a slab of rock.  There was no fat to be found.

And then I had a baby.

It's a like a balloon deflates.  I remember crying that first week because I was no longer the cute pregnant lady.  Now I was that lady with pregnant-like flab.  Nothing in my closet flattered me or made me feel pretty.  I think so many of us have been there.

In the first few months it was hard to find the time and energy to work out.  If E was sleeping, I wanted to sleep.  I don't remember trying to eat healthy or eating out a lot.   Really, I just remember trying to find the time to cook and eat period.  The funny thing is my infant eats great.  He drinks soy milk (formula, really) and eats fruits, veggies, and oatmeal throughout his four small meals a day.  His diet is lean and he loves it.  More than once I have found a sad humor in feeding him so much healthy food while I am struggling with my own weight and diet.

Even before my blunder of a post, I had decided to make healthier habits for 2013.  Thus the trip to LoseIt.com in order to reinforce those positive habits.  I'm using an app called Waterlogged to track the gallon of water I aim to drink every day.  (Sixty onces is the closest I've been to my 128 ounce goal.)  As a family, we're walking and biking when the weather is nice, changing up our menu to include more veggies and lean meals.  All those things that we do to live healthier lives.  (By the way, I'm using #healthy2013 on twitter to mark our journey.  Feel free to join me!)

In close, I want to say this to my reflection in the mirror:  Even if I have gained 18.4 lbs in the last year and a half, I am not a bad wife, mother, teacher, daughter, or friend.  My journey is different now because my responsibilities are different.  I am still beautiful.  I am still strong.  I will be the healthy woman I believe that I am.  My perseverance is permanent - not the number on the scale.  I am proud of who I am.  I am beautiful!

Sincerely,

An Open and Honest Rookie Mom